How She Was
by lightningpelt
Summary: Dreams can tell us much about ourselves. Kurapika learns something he never imagined as he chats with an inconspicuously beautiful young girl he feels he should know. KuraxMelody Oneshot


**EDIT: I made a HORRIBLE mistake when I first uploaded this; I uploaded a copy of my other fic "How I Was!" *facepalm* Here's the REAL story, and I apologize for the confusion!  
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**(A/N) So this idea wasn't done with me yet. **

**Companion piece to "How I Was." One is not necessary to understand the other, but I think they complement one another. ^^ **

**KuraxMelody is just one of those pairings… for some reason. It needs more love. ^^ **

**I do not own Kurapika or Melody. If I did, Kurapika would… ooh. Fanfic idea. FANFIC IDEA. **_**KURAXMELODY **_**FANFIC IDEA. *A* (You should sub me if you like KuraxMelody. My brain has just given me a gift that **_**needs **_**to be written.) In the meantime, enjoy this! **

I was used to lucid dreaming; we- the Kurta –had all had training with such things. Dreams were important things, for we could glean knowledge about the world and, more importantly, ourselves, by interacting with them. We were all used to doing such things; it was a skill we prided ourselves on.

So when I opened my eyes to the loud bar scene, for a moment I was certain I had landed in the wrong dream entirely. I shifted self-consciously, hearing ice clink in the glass in my hand, feeling my usual skirt swish about. Glancing around, I quickly found that I had never been in the present setting in the waking world; it was rare for my unconscious to make up such places.

For some reason, my attention was drawn neitherto the colorful, swirling mass of dancers nor to one in particular, but to the shape at the very corner of the bar. She was a slight girl, not extraordinary in any way, but short and of average build. She leaned against the wall, legs crossed as she perched upon the stool. Her delicate flat banged against the leg of the chair in time to the music, the jingle bells around her ankle undoubtedly ringing but inaudible above the ambient noise. Other than that, her graceful hand rested around a cup, but she didn't raise it to her lips.

_She's the reason I'm here, _I thought. _She's the reason I'm having this dream. But… I've never… _Then I shrugged. It wasn't uncommon for one's subconscious to create an entirely new person, and mine had done it several times before. So, undaunted, I approached the girl.

"Hello."

The girl glanced up, her brown eyes shimmering even in the dim light. "Hello," she replied, her voice calm and musical. I took an involuntary step backwards, unaccustomed to finding figments of my own subconscious attractive. I had never, in fact, found anyone so striking, and my heart gave an unsteady thump. The girl gave a slight giggle, as though she could tell.

"H-Hello," I repeated lamely, but then steadied myself. "Why are you here?"

She cocked her head. "Well, I…" Then, seeming to lose her train of thought, she blinked. Her gaze found the drink in her hand, and then she glanced helplessly up at me again. "I honestly can't remember," she said, with a slight laugh. "I never come to bars, except for the music."

Now it was my turn to be confused. In all my experiences of lucid dreaming, I couldn't remember having such a conversation. So I sat down beside her.

"Aren't you going to ask permission?" she asked, and I started.

"What?"

"It's customary to _ask _a lady if you can sit beside her, even in such a place as this," she said, a bit slyly, and I felt heat crawl across my cheeks as I bolted back up onto my feet.

"May I…?" I began to ask lamely, and she laughed.

"Yes, of course," she answered, motioning to the chair. Her head began to nod slightly as the song changed, her eyes drifting shut, and I found that I could only stare at her soft, sweet face.

That thought made me jump. _Am I legitimately…? _

"Why are _you _here?"

I started, surprised when she spoke without provocation. It was rare for figments of the subconscious to take such initiative.

"What?"

"Why…" she repeated, with exaggerated slowness, "are… you… here?"

_You are in my subconscious. You should know everything about me. _However much I wanted to say it, from frustration as much as anything, I realized that such characters often believed, whole-heartedly, in the dream world. "I… don't know either," I finally said, unable or unwilling to come up with a plausible lie.

The girl nodded, seeming unsurprised. "Well, I think you're here to meet me."

_Finally, _I though, _we get somewhere. _"I wouldn't doubt that."

The girl giggled, to my surprise. "Are you…?"

_No, _I thought, but didn't answer aloud. I would have said it, but something stuck in my throat…

"Well, why ever you're here, I'm glad you are," she said, hand moving with the music; she wore a bracelet of bells, as well, as if she wished to make all her movements, even those of everyday life, musical. Had I not been sitting, I would have taken another step backward.

"As am I," I said, before I could register it. But what really took me off was the fact that I _was _glad my dreams had brought me there.

"… I'm no longer like this, you know," the girl said softly, and I nearly sighed with relief.

_Now we're getting somewhere… _I would be relieved to be rid of the confusing dream, although part of me wasn't willing to leave and face the waking world. "Really?"

She nodded. "Truly. Do you not know me, Kurapika?"

I shrugged, unfazed. "If your appearance has changed, perhaps; otherwise, you are only a figment of your subconscious."

The girl sighed softly. "That's to be expected, of course. This _is_ only a dream, after all." She raised her face and, for a moment, I defiantly recognized the tender, wise kindness that glowed in her eyes.

"Who are you…?" The whispered question was out before it even registered; it no longer _felt _like a dream, after all.

The girl gave her soft, musical laugh that I just couldn't place. Instead of answering directly, she tilted her head and closed her eyes.

"I like this song," she murmured, and her next words made my blood chill.

"It compliments your heartbeat perfectly."

_Melody…! _I tried to say her name, but my body was frozen. The dream was slipping away from me, no matter how I clutched at it. The scenery seemed to melt around us, the music distorting and fading. Only Melody remained, then, a small, sad smile upon her face. I felt her graceful fingers stroke along my cheek, leaving a tingling in their wake, although she didn't seem to move.

"This is all I can do," she whispered, her voice both mournful and hopeful. "I can't love you as I am now." Then, although once again she didn't move, I felt soft lips brush mine, and then even she was gone.

… … …

I bolted up with a gasp, startling the girl at my bedside. She gave a little huff, one hand over her heart.

"Good _heavens_! Your heart was like nothing I'd ever heard!" she said, catching her breath with some effort. "I thought it best to wake you."

I sat still, for a moment, almost afraid to look at her. Then I gulped, suddenly realizing that every emotion I felt was displayed to her on a loudspeaker. I turned, slowly, and beheld the young girl as _I _knew her, so different from how she had been. She cocked her head in apparent confusion.

"_I can't love you as I am now." _

_She looked… so sad… and so scared. _

"You can," I whispered, but then realized that I had said it aloud and looked down, cheeks flaming along with my eyes. Melody furrowed her brow questioningly.

"Kura… pika?"

I stood briskly, giving my head a firm shake. _There's no guarantee she even feels like that, _I told myself reasonably. _It was probably a dream- only a dream. _

"Nothing," I said brusquely, as I turned away. Something, however, made me turn at the door frame, look back, and gaze at the woman I called a friend. Some part of me I wasn't fully in control of- my heart, perhaps –insisted that I voice one last thought before I fled, leaving my words hanging in the air.

"You're beautiful, you know, no matter how you look, then and now."

**(A/N) *melts* **

**Reviews are appreciated! :D **


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